ANDREW OF AMERICA's Top Ten Good Things About Being Out of the Closet
(C) 1995, 1996  The Author

10.  You don't smell like mothballs

 9.  More room for fabulous shoes, Imelda

 8.  Can order magazines without brown covers

 7.  Mom and Dad quit asking when their little girl's Tom Boy phase will end

 6.  Men can shop for fresh pasta with their heads held high

 5.  No pressure of being GOP running mate

 4.  You're more than just a feminist, you're Wonderwoman!

 3.  Be a guest every week on Jerry Springer

 2.  Two words: Mardi Gras

 1.  Become famous playing straight people in the movies so a
     straight actor can play *you* in the made for tee vee
     movie of your life and win an Oscar

Or be able to use your real name...
ANDREW OF AMERICA
...when you flame me
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To find this and other Vintage AOA, Visit the new
ANDREW ARCHIVES at BRENT PAYTON's TX-MOTSS Homepage
http://www.fc.net~zarathus/andrew
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