ANDREW OF AMERICA's Return to the 70s and Beat the Milennium
(C) 1998 The Author. May be Crossposted.

(Enter Mediterranean tap-dancing spokeshunk)

Hi!  I'm Tony Danskin!  You may remember me from such
Tee Vee Classics as "The Big Yellow Cab" and "Who's The
Bottom?" -or- the recent appearance of my phone number
in a gay porn star's little black book.  But enough about
the end of my career, let's talk about the end of the world!

In the year 2000 computers everywhere will crash because they
can't deal with a year ending in 00, much like I can't deal with
Robin Williams not returning my calls.  How do w--uh--you gay people
avoid the greatest catastrophee since steroid dementia?

Remember Mood Cock Rings?   Tricky Dick?   Peter Brady's Peter?

Well, while the rest of the world laments the big Y2K computer
crash you'll be laughin' your "Laugh In" off securely in the
year 1970!

That's right!  Like Cher, you can turn back time and live in the
decade of uh.. Cher.  How? Rather than have your bank sucked dry
when the Global Computer Network crashes and deletes any record
of your existence, invest your lavender dollars in 

	Narcissus River Bank

the first national chain of LesBiGay Savings and Loan Sharks.

Since we are a start up operation, we're starting the date
of your account in 1970!  That will give us thirty years
to fix the curse of the double zero in "2000!"  What's more,
one second before the turn of the Millenium, we'll electronically
transfer the tight assets of hetero banks around the world
into your account!  While the breeders are wondering where the
wonderbread went from their Chaste Madhatter Bank accounts,
you'll be shakin' your illgotten booty with the Village People!

To show our appreciation for squirreling away your scratch,
you'll get a Decade of Decadance Ten Year 1970s Pinup Calendar
including hot shots of  "Starstruck and Humps,"  "The Daisy Dukes
of Hazzard" boys and "Eight is NEVER Enough Star" Slick Willie Aims.
You'll know the secret ingredient in Alice's meatloaf when you
see sexy Mike Lookalike and his Brady BUNCH all grown up!

		Call before midnight tonite

and get our Midnight Special of 30 free minutes of Hot Talk
with Midnight Cowpoke John Void! You'll also receive a
*revealing* foldout spread of "Welcome Butt Kutter" star
John Transvesta he hoped you'd never see!  This is the biggest
"spread" since Miracle Whip!  How did he get that thing up
there?: *Grease* is the word!

"But Tony," you may ask, "What if the computo-nerds fix the
computer problem before the year 2000?"  Then its Bareback to
the Future with celebrity look-a-like pornstar Michael J. Cox!

Millenium Proof your money, honey, in 
NARCISSUS' RIVER BANK: The bank for the Me *Again* Generation

First 100 investors will receive my favorite 70s fad, the Pet Cock!

Is This a Stick Up?
ANDREW OF AMERICA
Member FDIC (Pronounced "Eff Dick")
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For a Fun family site wholesome as Wonderbread...
www.fc.net/~zarathus The best thing sinced sliced bread!