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Exclusively for TX-MOTSS Digest, BRENT PAYTON, Operator #9
	
			T o p  T e n 
	     A N D R E W   O F   A M E R I C A 
		Phone Call Etiquette Rules

10.  No collect calls from Parchman State Penitentiary

 9.  No heavy breathing (unless you have asthma)

 8.  Please refrain from saying "One hand's holding the phone,
     guess where the other one is?"

 7.  Do not call me "Marlo."  Marlo's name is Marlo.
     Mine is ANDREW.

 6.  Always say my name in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS: "ANDREW"

 5.  When I call, let the phone ring twice before picking up
     and yelling "I've been waiting all my life for this!"

 4.  Don't call and say, "This is Kaiser Sauzi" and hang up

 3.  No calls after 7PM on a school nights if
     I've not done my homework

 2.  I don't have Prince Albert in the can or
     Prince Edward in the hot tub

 1.  Never--and I mean NEVER--call me at 6:59 AM to pick you up from
     the lumber yard

One Ringy Dingy
ANDREW OF AMERICA
Two Ringy Dingies
(601) 881-7979

© 1996 The Author, All Rights Reserved