ANDREW OF AMERICA's NEWS HORS DOEUVRES DU JOUR
(C) 1998 The Author All RIghts REserved

THE ACTOR LEONARDO DI CAPRIO will appear nude in the
October issue of Playgirl magazine (as if he weren't
already *overexposed*).  Unfortunately, the only people
interested in seeing him will have to wait 5 years before
they're old enough to buy the magazine.

PRESIDENT CLINTON cut short his Martha's Vineyard vacation
to upstage Monica Lewinsky's continuing testimony with a
"surprise" military attack on African terrorists. In a
related story, WAG THE DOG is now available on home video.

WOODSTOCK REUNION -- In an effort to recapture their
waning youth, hundreds of saggy-tittied hippies gathered
in upstate New York in rememberance of braincells past.
This time, instead of sharing acid and doobies,
participants passed around Viagra and Minoxidil.

ACTOR WESLEY SNIPES was spoted at an "ecclectic" Miami
disco dancing with a 300 pound transvestite.  He was
immediately mistaken for Eddie Murphy.

ACTRESS FAYE DUNAWAY who once had a spat with ANDREW
OF AMERICA on the set of JOHN GRISHAM's THE CHAMBER
is causing moviemakers to blow a fuse, literally.

Apparently, Ms. Dunaway has been using eight separate
electric hair roller systems to achieve her curly mop
top for the film THE YARDS co-starring Boogie Nights'
"Marky" MARK WAHLBERG. The power drain was repeatedly
short-circuiting the entire movie set.  

Perhaps Faye could achieve the same effect by plugging
her thumb in an electrical socket... OR plugging her
own socket with Mark "Dirk Diggler" Walhlberg.
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(C) 1998  ANDREW OF AMERICA May be crossposted.