ANDREW AMERICA's "Frogurt"
Freezing Out "LesBiGay" as
New Name for Homos

(C) 1998 ANDREW OF AMERICA  All Rights Reserved

ANDREW OF AMERICA has suggested that the offensive, divisive,
terms "faggot," "dyke," "queer," be replaced with the
all-inclusive gender-be-damned ice cream-a-licious

F R O G U R T

rehabilitating the dirtyword image of homosexuals wallfluffing
libidinous perverts into healthy, festive fun!

ANDREW sez: "Since we already ruined a perfectly good word "gay," I
wanted to undo something that exuded wholesomeness and that
would be frozen yogurt, a.k.a.  "FROGURT."

But, will FROGURT catch on? Some have doubts.

	On Sat, 28 Feb 1998, gorichweb2 wrote:
	
		>It sounds way too "culture-al"!

ANDREW sez: You silly Frogurt! (See how E-Z it is to use?)

There are ramifications with the new FROGURT

Cum Queen is now "Spumoni" 
Lovers of Asian Men are now "Tofutti"
Bisexuals become "Double Dippers"
Menage a Trois?  "Parfait!"
Ice Queen is still Ice Queen

Script approval for Ellen Degeneres can now sail past censors:

	Tonite on ELLEN: Ellen and her friend Sappho
	go out for a taste spoon of Rocky Road (See local listings)

Instead of the dark demimonde of smoky bars we can now meet and greet in a
well lit Ben & Jerry's ("One Percent for Piece"). I'm sure Carvel could
squeeze in a pool table and a juke box.  Suddenly, "Tales of the City"
is replaced with "Our Town" where two doe-eyed teenagers fumble over
twin straws at the drug store soda fountain. 

Classified ads could run in smalltown newspapers in the most
backward of burgs.:

	Soda Jerk seeks Milk Shake for a hand-held
	sugar cone, maybe more. Oh baby, I could
	really go for a hot fudge sundae with chocolate
	sprinkles though I'm not into banana splits 
	so  you can keep the cherry if you know what I mean.
	

FROGURT.  The taste you'll come to love.
	The love you'll come to taste.
	You'll love the taste of...frogurt.	

	"I am 32 Flavors and then some."
		--Alana Davis

ANDREW OF AMERICA
The Good Humor man
andrew96@netdoor.com.