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A N D R E W   O F   A M E R I C A 's  Gay Glossary Word Du Jour

ANDREW OF AMERICA here,

With Today's NEW Gay Glossary Word:

FAG STAG (n. Am. Andrew of Am. 1994)  Handsome straight males who enjoy or
prefer the company of gay men to their hetero pals. A male "fag hag."

Fag Stags may be found roaming the North American continent in droves.  They
are easily detected by their James Brown T-shirts, dreamy eyes and boyish 
good looks.  Fag Stags love to tell gay men about their girlfriend troubles,
appreciate a shoulder to cry on and someone who can whip up spaghetti prima
vera from items found in the sadly deficient hetero male kitchen.

This symbiotic relationship thrives in an environment where the gay "host" can
provide a free haircut the night before the stag's job interview in exchange
for copying a Madonna concert tape or the privilege of giving the open-minded
male a much needed shoulder massage.
	
The gay male is careful to sublimate his sexual desires claiming that
the stag is like the "brother he never had."  The stag returns the compliment
saying you "remind me of my sister" or if you're lucky: "If ever I had sex with
a guy--though I'd never--it would be you.
	
The gay male pretends he knows nothing about cars to play upon the stag's need
to assert his masculinity under the hood of a Toyota Celica.  The straight male
pretends he knows nothing about doing laundry.
	
The gay male claims to understand the mysteries of women.  The straight male
pretends not to understand the erotic attraction of men to men.

The straight male says he is out of aftershave and would the gay male 
help him pick out a scent his girlfriend would like.  The gay male never
tells that *he* dumped the Stag's Aqua Velva in the cat box (unnoticed).
The Stag's girlfriend sends the gay male flowers and a thank you note.
	
The gay male lets the stag sleep in his bed and cry when his girlfriend
dumps him for her tennis instructor.  The next morning, the stag pretends
he was drunk the night before.
	
The gay male always pretends to be subservient to the need of the stag.
Deep down the stag knows that his gay friend is in control... and deeper
still, he likes it.

The stag will marry and name his third child after the queer.
On cold rainy nights, the queer will name his left hand after the stag.

ANDREW OF AMERICA.
Remind you of anyone you know?
------------------------------
(C) 1994, 1995 The Author, All Rights Reserved
Please send all publishing inquiries, fanmail and fag stag stories to
ANDREW OF AMERICA  617 Louisiana Avenue,  McComb, MS  39648
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