ANDREW OF AMERICA
Announcing the Formation
of FIREBOMB PANIC!

(C) 1998 ANDREW OF AMERICA All Rights Reserved

NEW YORK (AOA)  J.J. "Kid Dyn-omite" Oppenheimer, V.P. in charge
of Para-annoyance for the American Civil Loonies Una-union has announced
the formation of a new media eyesore: FIREBOMB PANIC.

FIREBOMB PANIC is concerned over the rising tide of public outcry and
stigmatization of pyromaniacs, insurance fraud arsonists,
firebugs, fireworks vendors, and flamboyant hairdressers.

A FIREBOMB PANIC ensues when certain segments in society seek to scapegoat
other segments of society.  Society is to blame.

Recent indicators that this trend is on the rise
Unabomber ted Kazscynsky  Kazsinkskee er um you know... was persecuted in
a show trial because of his misunderstood genius.

The so-called World Trade Center Bombers were persecuted for their
religious practices as were Abortion Clinic bombers and church burners in
the South.  Two pyromaniacs were sentenced to 40 years imprisonment for
"tresspassing" and "willful intent to commit arson" at the Greasy
Pelican Oil Refinery in Lake Charles Louisiana.  And why? Harold "Molotov"
Molson and Frank "Firecracker" Fitzsimmons were strikingmatches in
the privacy of a gasoline fractioning tower.

Young people are being shamed by firefearing parents and teachers in the
Bible Belt. We must acknowledge that children play with matches as an
extension of their natural curiousity and burning desire for self
immolation.

FIREBOMB PANIC seeks

	* The immediate repeal of Fireworks laws
	* Consensual arson between insurance policy holders
          and "torchbearers"
	* The release of Timothy McVeigh Oklahoma City bomber and
	  the incarceration of Hanson
	* Stop government intrusion and regulation of volitile
          nitrogen-based Fertilizers

We must embrace America's heritage of fire and explosives from
Bunker Hill to the Atomic Bomb.

We must accept forrest fires as a natural occurance and part of nature's
great cycle of renewal.  "Smokey the Bear" is a sad example humans
imposing their fascist uniforms upon animals in order to conform them to
their own image.

This and the hopelessly pyrophobic Disney cartoon classic "Bambi" have
been used in an unmittigated propaganda campaign of fear and loathing over
the manipulative death of Bambi's mother in an effort to quench children's
natural desire to raze endless acres of virgin timber.

Meanwhile the Shriner's Hospital Burn Centers continue to
victimize the "flame-kissed." 

When a FIREBOMB PANIC ensues, unchecked pyrophobia enflames anti-Semitism 
(Jewish lightning), homophobia (flaming homosexual), and mysogyny (Red Hot
Mama).

Focus on solving the real source of societal ills and class discontent:
Kathie Lee Gifford

It only takes a spark to get a fire going!
ANDREW OF AMERICA

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